You cannot force a connection with the other side.  It is not a matter of whether or not a spirit is there.  It is a matter of whether or not your human mind is out of the way and the energy field conditions are optimal for the pairing of the two worlds.  The former you can work on; the latter is not always under your control.

“But you just said you cannot force this, and now you speak of work!”  Yes, the effort comes in your willingness to change whatever thoughts and beliefs, old or new, are holding your personal efforts down.  As you work on yourself in this way, your consciousness rises, so that when you set the intention of connecting across the veil, your work off-line pays off.

You cannot see through a lens that has collected dirt.  Work to clear that which obscures your lens—judgment, grief, ego, and so forth—and when you go to peer across the veil, all the more clear will be your view.  It is a lifelong process.  It is why you are here, and trust us:  your efforts affect the Whole and are rewarded with each smudge cleared.

Note from Suzanne:  With perfect timing (of course), as I type this message received in meditation, the song playing on the radio is “I Will Be Right Here Waiting for You.”  Blessings.