You are used to instant gratification. The way information is instantly available makes waiting for rewards and results ever more challenging, does it not? You want to instantly feel better when waves of sadness fill awareness. What if the goal of the soul is not to feel better but to get better at feeling? Why, then, you would not want to instantly sedate or negate what you are experiencing. Notice it. Watch it. Observe with compassion the body’s responses to waves of emotions and become a master surfer. Do this often and observe any feelings of emptiness become fullness.
You are so very loved.
I’m watching you on YouTube on a podcast and I love listening to you so much. I can’t do the things you do at all but it interests me tremendously. I’m very desperate to overcome many years of almost paralyzing depression. I don’t want to leave my house ever. Anxiety is out of control at just the thought of leaving the house. This has seriously caused issues with my family because I’m not helping with important family stuff so I feel shame which amplifies my depression. I want to meditate but nothing seems to happen. It’s like I’m blocked from my higher self. I need help
I would bet that one of the reasons you “dont want to leave (your) house, is because you are finding solice there. And equally, in part and parcel, i would bet that part of the reason for your anxieties have to do with your thinking that society and government’s etc., do not and will not accept you taking the time you need to be whom you are.
And that is a depressing aspect of life, however, you do not have to OWN that stuff. Just acknowledge it… let it go, and discover yourself in however solice presents itself. It IS your life… …No one else’s.
Think of your solitude as something you need and is a gift to yourself so that you CAN enjoy it, and reap the benefits of quietudes. It IS yours… …no one else’s.