Unfinished business … Interactions with those closest to us can be challenging when they’re out in the open, but unresolved issues can fester for years, if not lifetimes. These can cover the spectrum from hurt feelings or broken hearts to loving words or praise left unsaid when a loved one passes. Guilt and regret can feel like a stone on the chest adding to the grief for those left behind.
The Shift Network’s Ancestral Healing Summit will show that it’s possible to take care of unfinished business across time and space with someone who has passed. I’m honored to be part of this summit in which I’ll share examples from my work as a medium of the kind of healing that can happen quite quickly when one learns to communicate soul to soul.
Often, when people consult with a medium, they tend to think only in terms of their personal opportunity to say things they didn’t say before their loved one’s transition. What many don’t realize is that a medium serves an equally important role as a mouthpiece for those who no longer have a physical voice. The eagerness to enjoy clear communication extends to both sides of the veil.
In a medium’s role as an intermediary between dimensions, we discover that there are often similar messages from those in spirit as those still in physical form. After validating the deceased’s continued existence with verifiable evidence, the most common communication is the assurance by those across the veil that all is well in the reality in which they find themselves … that they are content and gratified, if not surprised, to find that they can still see and visit with their family members at will.
“I’m right here!” they insist, “and I hear you talking to me even if you don’t sense me.”
During a reading, a declaration of love from across the veil may seem generic to one who is skeptical. This is why in an evidential reading, such important messages are book-ended with details about the person’s life that the medium couldn’t possibly know. To hear “I always loved you and I always will,” and to discover that love truly is eternal is healing balm to a sitter’s grieving heart.
But what about those who were never able to express their love while on the earthly plane? And what about those who uttered words they wish they had never said? It is these emotional reunions across dimensions that carry the greatest healing potential.
Cases of ancestors who wish to make amends are so common that spirits use a meaningful symbol with me to indicate an apology is due. The person in spirit appears in my mind’s eye with their head humbly bowed. In answer to my silent inquiry, they then divulge the issue for which they are asking forgiveness. The revelation of highly personal details which may have been kept secret by both parties can leave a sitter stunned. Yet, the healing that results from these emotion-filled afterlife apologies can be profound.
The same goes for thank-you’s when I see the symbol of the person in spirit reaching out a beseeching hand accompanied by a powerful heart-opening. Whether or not the deceased loved one ever expressed their gratitude while still in a body, these displays of compassion during a reading can produce therapeutic tears from even the most stoic sitter.
I often advise people somewhat tongue in cheek not to wait until you need a medium to clear up disagreements. When we understand that hurt people hurt people, and that human beings learn by trial and error, it is much easier to make amends while we can still do so face-to-face.
Once freed of the body, which cloaks our soul awareness, those who pass find themselves aware of the thoughts and feelings of those around them. Nothing is hidden. They hear your unspoken thoughts as well, and with the bigger picture of the soul’s perspective, they understand your human motivations. This is why they are equally grateful when their family members sit with a medium through whom they can more clearly issue their thank you’s and apologies.
In truth, it is never too late to say what needs to be said, and you don’t need an intermediary to connect across the veil. The spirit world is not some far-off place. It interpenetrates our own. It only appears separate when masked by beliefs, human conditioning, and the busy brain’s filters.
Communication is possible with your ancestors because, like them, you are also a soul here and now. By learning to shift your awareness to your essential nature, you can gain their big picture view. Such a shift in perspective can be life-changing.
If you have some human issues with loved ones who have passed that still need to be resolved, move your awareness to the heart and with heart-felt intention, say whatever needs saying. You need not speak aloud. Know that your love or even your anger is felt and welcomed. And then, having bared your soul, consciously release whatever has been weighing heavy on your heart.
Those in the higher spirit realms know each other by their light. They identify us the same way. Your loved ones in spirit see you now with the eyes of the soul. By taking care of unfinished business, you allow more of your soul’s light to shine and make it easier to sense the presence of love.
I found you or was led to you! Looking for answers with a step son who may be narcissistic. We are constantly reminded of his talents and superiority and at every opportunity he will gaslight my husband or myself. Unlike your Susan, he is my life challenge, but also father of our three beautiful grandchildren-so we must endure him. Trying to love him peace. and acceptance.
Very challenging to tolerate that kind of behavior when stuck in human point of view. Come to understand the true meaning of “namaste” and meet him there. “Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a Field. I will meet you there.” THis field is us as the light. We can experience this in expanded states of consciousness and learn to access it at will for a higher more peaceful state of consciousness, even if the other can’t. Peace.
I took your advice and decided to make amends with my ex-husband for actions I took when we were married. I didn’t want to have to apologize from the other side after I leave this body, Unfortunately it totally backfired for he took it to mean that I was coming back to the spiritual practice I had also left behind, and our family would be re-united again on this plane. In his view I am headed toward Hell. It is so hard to communicate with people who are still unconscious while I am in the process of awakening. It brings great sorrow to my heart. I don’t really know how to respond.
Dearest Diane, this is such an opportunity for you to come to know you have a choice of points of views. The limited point of view as a human suffers (and also thinks others are going to Hell). Come to know the aspect of you that is limitless and you can shift your point of view. It’s that place/state we meet when we say “Namaste”. “I honor the place in you that is of love, of light, of peace, and of joy. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one, as Source.” “Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a place. I will meet you there.” (Rumi)
Suzanne, thank you for your response.. I was listening to one of the channelings with Sanaya and they gave us the word “conscious..” This was a perfect reminder for me. as I have been exploring and experiencing higher levels of consciousness for some time. I used that word before I created my response to my ex-husband and found the words I needed to express in a heartfelt way that although we have different views, we are still connected and will always be so.
I have often used Rumi quotes in my own writings about consciousness and have a Facebook Page called Consciousness Is which I will link to below. In fact I just wrote a review of “Wolf’s Message” there. I plan to add it to my other website, Grannysage at the Crrossroads, as well. I thank you and your spirit guides for assisting me to continue to learn about living the awakened life.
I first became aware of you in 2006 after a bout with cancer (large B cell lymphoma non-hodgkins). Your growing mediumship had quite a familiar tone for me as I had been 6 years in a clairvoyant program before joining the Navy at age 33 to try and retrain as a Physician Assistant.
I’m 71 years of age, articulate, exceptional health and quite happy, living with a true love that understands the self-less way. We have both meditated for years. From military related injuries aboard USS Enterprise I am 100% disabled status.
I would like to talk with you preferably in person or by email , text or phone.
I’m writing, because of a kinship I feel with you. Suzanne, and a necessity for clarification. Sincerely Scott Charles Andrues formerly Frank Scott Ross
Gold: – Mucho Gracias again, again and again. ???
Thanks for sharing this wonderful message! Unfortunately I lost my son on Sept/19 from an accidental OD and he was only 20. I haven’t received any dream visitations from him and I’m not sure if he even tried to communicate with any signs! I’m broken heart forever… I wish I could receive a message to comfort me! So many questions and no answers…
Hi Tati, I hope you have found HelpingParentsHeal.org. Please reach out to one of their caring listeners, join Irene and Kathy’s online chats, and the groups evening Zoom sessions.
I’m thinking that sometimes more hurt can come when trying to fix something on the human level when one of the parties has no clue about a soul perspective. So for the time being, I will try my best to conduct myself from a soul perspective while “acting” the human story with my loved one who carries so much hurt until the time is right.
Thank you so much for this post. I am so excited to hear you speak at the Ancestral Healing Summit! The pandemic has many downsides but the bountiful availability of teaching via zoom has been enormously helpful to me and a real blessing. My particular interest in this topic is due to my husband’s recent, unexpected and sudden passing. After he transitioned I found out about some really painful things he did. To me they were completely out of character and they leave me with so many questions, and even doubts about how he really felt about me at the end. I have seen several mediums and good, evidential connections but in none of the cases did my husband volunteer the painful information or apologize. It was only after I specifically asked him about it through the medium did he try to explain himself. Why wouldn’t this be the first thing he would communicate? I talk to him all the time and he knows how hurt and angry I was. Thank you again for the hope, love and understanding you have brought into my life.
Oh, Holly, may these challenges lead you to discoveries within your heart through the soul connection. Talk with your husband soul to soul instead of human to human and you may discover what you are seeking.
I have 3 loves that have left because of death and I dream about each one in constant vivid dreams . I would like to know what they are trying to say to me. This would settle me in a more calming way and maybe stop my sad dreams about a lost love.
I have been watching your you tube videos and would love to take your mediumship course. I have been struggling with the loss of my ex husband to COVID just this past April, we had a friendly relationship up until the last 3 or 4 months he was alive. He withdrew from society and became extremely closed off to family, even our son. I was the one who advocated to let me take him to the hospital and I am also a nurse during all of this, so he trusted me. Visitors were not allowed where he was and it was not where I work, so my son and I had no contact with him as he was also not himself mentally. I am struggling now and feel my son blames me for making his father go to the hospital. I know as a nurse he was already in bad shape. So I do not know why I am struggling so much. I see death all the time, and prided myself that I can handle anything as an ER nurse. But this has challenged me, I try and connect, I meditate but can only remember his last mental state and how he asked me to help him go to sleep forever. I am sorry this is so long but I do not know what it is I need at this point. I thought a reading maybe would help or taking your course. And how do I put aside the loud clinical mind.
Hi Tina, I tried emailing you but you may not have seen it.
Your teachings have given me hope in dealing with the unfinished business with my love ones. After 40 years of marriage, I decided to separate from my husband for a while so I can have peace and calmness to heal and recover. I never expect this temporary separation becomes a permanent one. He passed away suddenly 6 months after we were separated in 2020. One medium told me that he said he owe me an apology. But I am not satisfied with an apology. I want him to deal with all the mess with me, especially with our children. When I watched your documentary, I am encouraged. Your teaching gives me great hope because I know he is still here. I finished one of your courses and plan to learn more about mediumship. My goal is to do what you do, i.e. to serve and to teach. Would you please give me the direction of the learning and education I need from you and from Authur Finley College?